It seems everywhere; not just in Washington, DC expectations are excessive in dating life. Other options are indulged and explored on the side with far too little commitment in today’s couples. It’s no surprise couples part ways and return to the viscous cycle repeating the same relationship challenges and declines again and again with someone new and just as lovely as the last. A friend born and raised here once said (circa 2007) it best. Dating in DC is a carnival ride. If the ride is over you just get back in line for your next turn. DC is indeed a small town. Here the numbers are dismal due to closed mindedness.
Out of about 300,000 options to date (technically) once you break down all those check-able boxes and “good on paper” traits desired, Washingtonian Singles end up with about 800 options to choose from in the Washington DC Greater Metro Area; equal to that of your college campus.
In the article below which inspired this blog post, along with experience shared among my own social circles and Prana Living’s Lifestyle and Nutrition Coaching clientele, this snippet of perspective really REALLY speaks to DC dating reality:
” This results in dating pools that aren’t enormous. A single, heterosexual, 27-year-old white man with a bachelor’s degree who wants to date a single, white, college-educated woman between 25 and 29 would actually have only about 7,000 choices in D.C. — about the same number he would find on the campus of a big public university in a flyover state. If he has some other preferences (say, he’s average height for a man and prefers to date someone shorter) or considers religious/political compatibility a must, the list would grow shorter still. And this is a pretty easy case. For example, there are likely fewer than 800 single, straight, Asian, college educated men between 25 and 29 who live in the District.
Sometimes the pools can be very, very small: I had a Jewish, conservative, gay woman intern for me at one job and later hired another woman who I found out had the same characteristics. I later learned out the two had been out on a date together independently of me. Likewise, when one friend of mine wrote an article about polyamory in area, I realized I had once been out on a date with the subject of the article. (Did she have another boyfriend at the time? I dunno.)”
Racial/Cultural/Religious/Educational/Wealth differences become deal breakers because of idealizations when ideally we all should be seeing people as unique individuals, not as an MBA vs a Bachelors or Christian vs Buddhist, or Black vs White. It seems today’s dating culture expects cookie cutter perfection in a mate and many opportunities for true love with someone who wants the same things, shares harmony, and chemistry, sacrificed for the box checking we have all grown accustomed to with our limitless options and distractions. Success in dating comes when we work within imperfections and complimentary strengths and weaknesses in both parties in a relationship. A successful love may be built on the rarity of good chemistry and use it to grow imperfectly uniquely together as long as both individuals want the same things with each other and have harmony and emotional connection, Love is tone deaf colorblind and will choose for you, regardless what logic tells us is “the right way”. The following link explains more in detail how our dating pool is very very tiny when we think with such a closed minded perspective in dating life: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3449740